Boys need ’em too

In general I’m a fan of Margot Magowan.  She’s a friend of mine, and I agree with her more than I disagree, notwithstanding the whole penises in the vodka thing.  And although her blog, Reel Girl, has historically been about the sexist stereotypes girls are exposed to in the media, she’s begun saying “children” more, which is pleasing to me.  She wants to imagine “gender equality in the fantasy world.”  But then she also get stuck thinking like this:

The lack of visible, heroic females in the real and imaginary world sells girls short, affecting who they are and who they will become. I think it’s horrible that the so called imaginary world is so sexist and limited.

…

I started Reel Girl because I wanted to create a resource for parents on the internet where they could go to find great stories, movies, and toys that support girl empowerment. I wasn’t able to find the kind of information I was looking for in one place.

Don’t get me wrong.  These are great sentiments, but they’re narrow.  Delivering non-gender-stereotyped characters to only one sex is not going to effect “gender equality in the fantasy world.”  If boys continue to receive the same tired tropes reinforcing their privilege, they will continue to discard nonconforming visions of gender.  The bottom line is that boys need to see non-stereotyped female characters as much as girls do.  Any hope for cultural change depends on that.

Now, I have two kids, one of each.  The girl has autism, so she consumes media in unique ways.  They boy’s just a baby, and really doesn’t consume much media at all (yet).   But it struck me as I browse for movies for both of them that I keep returning to the past for good examples of female leads.  Even when I was a child, I had female heroes (Jane Goodall comes to mind immediately), and one of brothers’ favorite animated films when we were boys was “The Secret of NIMH” with its female protagonist, Mrs. Brisby.  My daugher’s favorite movie is “The Sound of Music,” which strikes me today as feminist and subversive–Maria is outspoken and challenges authority, Liesl is the sexually aggressive foil to Rolf’s withering and callow “masculinity,” the Von Trapp boys flee to Maria seeking comfort from a thunderstorm mere seconds after little Greta proclaims that “boys are brave,” and it’s the nuns who heroically risk their lives and convent to spirit the Von Trapp family to safety.  It’s such an irony that such a hugely popular film from the early 1960’s can so casually challenge stereotypes that appear more deeply ingrained in our culture today.

But if I showed this movie only to my daughter and insulated my son from it in the name of “girl power,” I’d really be doing my daughter a disservice.  It’s not fair to dangle the promise of equality in front of her if the boys in her life never engage in that same pledge.